Bow here, you may recognise me because my pictures are all over this hub because I’m so awesome and also totally famous. Woof.
I am now an expert at moving house. I’m only one year old and I’ve already moved house twice: once from my human’s apartment to our (my) new home, and once before that from an East London high-security detention centre (don’t ask). I know my stuff. I recently wrote another blog to help any of you moving house with pets, but realising humans are stupid and more affected by stress, I wrote this to help you guys out too. I’m such a good boy.
Before the move you’ll want to be organised. I remember once there was big plate of food for me to eat and I was so excited. But I calmed down, focused and remembered I should open my mouth first. Made the experience far more enjoyable. Planning before execution is everything.
Moving is a hassle but there is one silver lining. Now is your chance to throw away the stuff you don’t need (or you could donate it, you monster). That junk you kept just to be polite to the person that gave it to you – now you have the perfect excuse to get rid of it! This doesn’t just apply to trinkets – but furniture you’re not intending to keep indefinitely. You should have seen my idiot owner unpacking a pair of novelty Postman Pat vases and seven packs of erotic coasters.
When you move in you’re going to want to clean it thoroughly to get that ‘fresh new house’ feeling before I go in and ‘claim’ every room with my ‘scent’. This is especially hard to do if you’re having to work around your stuff you’ve brought in, unpacked or not. So if you have access, get in there early to take advantage of not having to move your stuff around. This counts double if you want new carpets or to decorate without having to move all those porcelain Boston Terrier statues you keep in your house (all humans have these, I assume).
You know how all your stuff is in boxes and difficult to get to? That’s gonna bug you. A ‘go bag’ is full of very basic essentials that you can get access to without sifting through endless boxes. It should usually include things like toilet paper, shower curtain, extension cord, some cutlery/crockery, soap, towel etc. Remember it’s not just you though so bring the dog food, dog bowl, dog toy, dog leash, dog nunchucks, dog-Superman outfit, dog-specific TV… y’know. The essentials.
Be a good idea to label boxes very specifically. You don’t want have to look through ten ‘DOG’ boxes before you find the all important rope toy.
Don’t be one of those people who have written on all their boxes in biro. It’s embarrassing.
When you get into the new house the work is just beginning. As much as packing was tough, unpacking and setting up a new home is even more difficult. I helped as much as I could when we moved in, but all the barking and eating of my human’s lunch in the world couldn’t fix all the problems.
Start with the bed! No one wants to realise they’re too tired to finish unpacking only to discover their bed isn’t ready. Also, get some entertainment set up early to motivate you during the rest of the unpack. If you’re feeling like you’re going to need to work late into the night, don’t. Save some for the next day lest you rush everything and end up with a mess.
It’s always a good idea to get to know the neighbours, they probably have way better stuff than you that you can ‘borrow’. But if they have a dog and I see you saying ‘aww’ our relationship is OVER.
Humans need an internet connection to function. It’s been that way since the beginning of time, but more importantly I have Twitter followers who rely on me. It can take a few days to get internet sorted so ideally order early. When it comes it’ll have an up-and-down connection for a few days while it figures out its best connection settings. Be prepared!
Just do it. Get a plunger. Don’t think you probably won’t need it, because the day will come when you do need it, and that’s the day your new bathroom becomes a filthy paddling pool, and you KNOW I’m going to roll in it.
If you have any more questions you can ask me on Twitter or if you need a mortgage-related answer from someone who isn’t a dog ‘borrowing’ his owner’s computer while he looks for his keys (also ‘borrowed’ by me), then contact Coreco – they’re the humans my owner used to help get him his mortgage.
I’m off to bark at my reflection. I’M A BUSY DOG.